The U.S. Marshall Service (USMS) signed a contract for $4.5M with the crypto exchange, BitGo, to help manage the bitcoin it seizes.USMS was then immediately charged with taxpayer fraud by the IRS for wasting $4.5M on being too lazy to buy a Ledger.
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Coinbase Pro is listing Tether (USDT) despite the coin’s questionable financials and despite having its own successful stablecoin in USDC. As a public service, trades into USDT will automatically instead buy USDC with the last letter changed to a T with a magic marker.
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On Earth Day, Square insisted that Bitcoin is green while Citi disagreed. Citi won the argument by printing out 5 million copies of a 200-page memo on the topic and delivering them to each of their 2,500 branches worldwide in 30 planes and 500 trucks. Single-sided print, of course.
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European regulators are taking a close look at the tokens on Binance that track the price of Tesla and Coinbase respectively. They are particularly focused on two questions:
1) How can we get us some?
2) When moon, bro?
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Thodex, a Turkish crypto exchange, closed and froze nearly $2B in user assets overnight with the CEO fleeing the country in an apparent mega rug pull. Oh well, looks like crypto’s Istanbul run is over.
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And that’s your daily dose of crypto noncense. If you liked it, please subscribe and tell your friends. More noncense tomorrow.